DOES GOD EXIST: Sketches of the Almighty’s existence.

You could be my nature since I love nature, I mean, humans also are nature, right? So whenever one says they love nature, it also includes humans I suppose huh? Or should we just stick to nature being the wild alone? I almost get lost at this thought since humans too have been known to run real wild you know? Anyway, allow my insanities not to delve into those depths, at least not for now, okay?

If we are still treading through the same scope then come along with me and let us see where these sketches lead us as I am drawn back to the wild nature of humans. Being availed for everything yet just like an ungrateful animal refusing to acknowledge the source of these gifts.

Well, sometimes I find myself harsh even towards my own self so if for a moment these sketches seem so, then I would humbly request pardon and may the jury correctly rule me as not guilty, I mean, no one, not even the most knowledgeable persons ever know the path they are taking if that same path happens to be a new one, right?

So with no itch to my fingers and the current writer’s block creeping through my system, I am for the umptieth time drawn to this discussion of their being a God or not, and whether the God of the bible is real or just a fabrication of human choreography. A sentiment to which I always find quite fascinating since, for them to have lined up the events that proceed their choreography in scriptural writing so cryptically, then in present age times they would surpass vogue and even the Oscar award winners. Speak not of the Guinness books of records for these wouldn’t really have enough pages to describe the journey of each of these amazing authors of their times.

To add that most of these writings they did were laid out on papyrus reeds by authors each of different backgrounds and times, and each piece hidden away in different sections of the world, later to be rediscovered over time and in different cultures, then they must have had the perfect plot in choreography, played to sync, right?

Need I add that each of these scripts is reported to have been done over a span of very different centuries? Oh, how I love how science disproves its own pre-stated misconceptions only in time coming to prove all the once theorised distrusts as true. Well, anyone is allowed to throw stones at this point but just don’t do it upon a glass house, okay?

I have always honestly wanted to believe in evolution and all its concepts and the fact that we have been around for millions of years, oh, plus my 30 plus few ones. I wish I could but each time I give it thought is the more I find enough reason not to validate it. For starters, from scientific discoveries and even modern day backdated image reconstructions, I am yet to see a reconstruction of any early man pre-homo sapiens sapiens but who am I to speak in line with science.

Away from this amazing chronologically correct and undisputed text, is my own life, my own sketches, sketches that have fallen into place so perfectly so much so that, most times I even want to convince myself that it is a lie rather than a truth but yet I find no logical reason to it. We all love logical reasoning, right? Just as we love reality versus fiction, huh?

In the same thought line however, I have always wondered on the actuality of reality versus fiction. I mean, to this day, a fiction is made to look so accurate you would think it the real deal were it put against a known original. And the same would I go to call for the persons who claim and would prove of their being a non existent Supreme being.

I always advocate for men and women to call Him the Almighty I am that I am since that is the name He first mentions of Himself. His abilities being displayed beyond any human understanding, yet to go deeper into this would some sketchers find it argument-worthy. An aspect most called for if there is to be a discussion rather than an argument, were it the latter then PePa would so easily opt out and be called a coward of his beliefs instead, for what is an argument rather than an exchange between fools, best left to condescending politicians?

So even as I draw deeper into these sketches borne from the animalistic human nature of reproach, I find it a beauty and an awe were we to leave judgement, logic, and reason to humans who though always striving for what is best, in most cases, terribly fails in respect to an intrinsically deep, selfish desire within him. If this desire were not to be curbed in persons who ultimately give in to basic instincts other than mere logic, then that alone in itself creates room for a breed of disaster my dear treaders.

So now calling to reason all quarters of thought, and before I delve deeper into the science that would prove His presence or absence, do you think that if such persons had no greater being to control them they could have made it to the very present age as it is? Were they to call the shots and even decide who lives and for how long, would we have even a third of the current population walking the earth? If not only as slaves to the masters then I, for all logic’s reason cannot comprehend it in any other way.

Even when most go ahead and claim that it is inherent in man to do good, I call all logic to question as to what good and bad comes to if there was no definitive power to mark this out. For without this power at play then it means even if committing an offense to the extent of not only shedding blood but also taking the life itself gave me pleasure and made me feel good, then this, in my logical judgement would be good, right?

Oh, did someone shake their head in disagreement? Well, if you disagree with this ploy as it plays then you are most definitely acknowledging the prospect of an existence of a higher power, the name you give to him matters not much but truth and beauty is that there is a power who controls and dictates all aspects of life.

Now that is an interesting perception brewing within your heart and mind at the moment, yes, I also always wondered why bad things happen to good people. And more so, why suffering reigned through the world like a wildfire yet this Supreme being so preached to us existed. I mean, if He was all powerful and loving, then He wouldn’t allow evil to reign, right? But question is, who is the perpetrator of this evil? Him or man?

Let us pick pestilence and draught for example, a very sin-unrelated doing of man, right? Did you know that science proves, that is before I go on, that the actual miracles performed by this same Supreme being during the tag of might and release of the Israelites from Egypt were actually enabled through natural phenomena?

Now with that in mind, and to show you that it is the fault of man that these occurences do actually happen, ask yourself, why are we so discouraged from excessive use of plastic packagings? Yet it is man who in his wisdom came up with such material use. An easier option of safe disposal still exists yet to point to a man, an average grown up adult that it is wrong to carelessly litter and garbage the environment is a cause for call of proof as to who is right and who is wrong and who also made you the boss of them.

Fault me if I am wrong yet I know not how easy it is for a forest to grow in a landfill of garbage or say for good aeration to take place in this same environment. And with this as a simple sample, how would a widespread repetition of the same eventually affect the entire population? With limited vegetative growth and breathing air, don’t you think we are the instigators of a ripple effect of poor rainfall patterns, polluted environments and a growth of unnecessary diseases?

Why, for instance, were the Israelites on their journey through the wilderness, taught, for example on correct disposal of waste? Well, there is no Supreme being seeing beyond their present predicament, right? Who am I to know of such things though?

And this should play as but an insight into the many little things we overlook as humans before we come up with presumptuous conclusions, wanting to seek big explanations to very simple things that if we opened our eyes to, then would we notice that we haven’t even, as the human race, been able to exhaust 7% of the given human brain capacity and yet here we claim on how much we know. If we ourselves had the so called freedom and power we so claim, why haven’t we been able to explore the other 93% of our brain, what is stopping us? I mean, there is no Supreme power holding us back now, is there?

On the aspect of man not being able to break beyond the 7% barrier, check out what happened in Genesis 11:3-7

And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded. And the Lord said, behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.

Now just but a little retread, if evolution allowed for speech growth, how comes the world speaks not the same evolutionary speech and tongue? But what do I know about these things? Yet the knowledge of man at this point remains capped at this point, not out of malice, but for his own good, did you know that the earth’s atmosphere is only 480kms thick, with most of it (comfortably breathable air only within 16kms of the same?) Think about it.

Now I was not compelled by anyone to defend the Creator for whatever cause but what harm is there is painting an unspoken truth that lays bare before us?

Until next time my dear treader, stay blessed, and stay safe.

PePa : The Sketches Of Life.

HE WORKS ALL THINGS TOGETHER: Sketches through my sky cont.

A beautiful story, as they say, should be told in the quiet and comfort of the living room, or maybe near the fireplace, huh? Or do you think the balcony creates a better ambiance in your opinion? Or maybe the calm and comfort or the bedroom, right? With the raindrops softly trickling down your window panes, huh?

Truth is, I have looked for tales to tell in every possible place, right from the mountain top, down the valley, and even over the sloppy plains. With an in-depth, much keener eye, however, I grow to learn that there is no perfect location for a tale and hence sketch to unfold, just as this one right here finds me.

My mind’s awareness rolls over as I am in no sober mood for any activity this beautiful Friday. Reminds me of the Lazy Song that says,

” Today I don’t feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed.”

In my case, however, I don’t want to just lay in my bed but instead, I want to zone out and think of nothing whatsoever.

As my awareness gets caught up in this zombie of a state, my lips cringe tight as the emptiness and void fills up in a place that was once supposed to be lulled into calm and quiet. I am then, without caution, drawn to the uneven grey and blue skies of the morning before as I recall that in them lay a message. One I totally could have misinterprated as nothing has turned out as I had previously purpoted as I stared at them.

I don’t know if this is a thing only I do but it is not once or twice that I have stared into the skies and told myself how beautiful it is going to be. Most times I say this to myself, my beauty of whichever day that is, is most often tied to a desire burning deep within my heart. Sometimes a desire to get something or even get rid of another. In all cases, it normally is focused and totally centred on what I want, nothing to do with what the world expects of me or what I should give it but instead what I will receive from it.

Now looking at this moment and noticing that nothing has turned out as I had anticipated for this day, at least nothing that is inclined to my desires, my mind picks this trail of realisation as everything falls into perspective.

I am seated at a position that I can neither tell the colors of the sky nor even the position of the sun as I write, but still, I know the energy they have within them is speaking right back at me from my morning inquest. I can feel the elements point that it is not always about what I want but it will always be about the general good of everyone. It also gets home clear and loud that despite what I desire not happening as I envisioned it, I should never lose sight of the fact that I am blessed beyond measure .

The truth of how all my sketches fall into perspective hence makes sense as fact is that, while seated right here and far from my expectation do I get to chat up a friend willing to share their story. Not anything I had planned for this day but being for the greater good does this come in precedence to any other selfish desires previously raging within my heart. In the process of my own desires did I miss the fact that I have had one of the calmest days in a long time and yet on the surface, despite this being of more importance did I not take it into perspective.

So, to turn my selfishness into a breed of love will I be grateful for every moment and learn this lesson set before me. The lesson that not every revelation is for me and yet still again, my answer is always right before me if I choose to look at it with the depth it requires. The other bit is that, I am always blessed with more than i choose to ask for yet in most cases I ask for less than what is in store for me.

To close this sketch will I conclude in the truth of the fact that, the Almighty works all things together for our good, we only must be willing to look at it in light of His grace and not in light of our own perception.

To get the story I have in waiting, please check out my YouTube channel in this link, remember to subscribe, and turn on the notification bell for more.

Until next time my dear treader, stay blessed, and stay safe.

PePa: The Sketches Of Life.

DO I HATE PEOPLE: Sketches through my mind.

Men are beautiful, yet remain the most unreliable of creatures. I mean, allow me to even add that, it is better to rely upon a tamed beast than to put your trust upon a fellow human.

Do I really sound so harsh? Nay, I wish I was but even the good book says that, ”Cursed is the man whose trust is in man”. Now wait a minute, did the scriptures just curse us? Haha, no, not at all. Thing is that, this comes out as a super warning to us humans. To tell and remind us of our fallen nature and that however much we were meant for good, our desires most oft always outweigh our good intentions.

For this very simple reason did patriots in the guise of wise men come up with the adage that, trust is a virtue well earned. Still I am bound to live and prove this truth way after I am long gone, haha, call it being sadistic but with all honesty, the truth is way far from this.

Now do I hate humans? No, I can’t even bring myself to start on such a venture as this in itself is a drain of all my energy. On the contrary, I love each human whether they be evil as per my standard, or un-cooperative by another’s, or even un-trustworthy by a third’s. What I do is that love does not limit me to embrace them because I have learnt that to love is tender and to hate is draining. So love I do but with a stretch of arm, I mean, once bitten, twice shy, right?

With my twice shy hence, I love as much as I guard me, I mean, love thy neighbour as thyself, right? And how can I love my neighbour if I don’t know how to love me? It is only imperative that I know how to love me for it to be easy for me to love another without thought or strain, right?

Standard rule to this is to know your limits and always remind yourself that man will always remain man, and even upon receiving redemption from God, only the Almighty Himself can perfect them and not you. Your work hence is to do the best you can do and not expecting too much from people be the best version of yourself in all things you set out to task upon. With this perspective you hurt less and even when you hurt you will rarely tag it on any other person but remind yourself that everything happens because of you and not because of other people.

To understand this last bit well, you really have to read chapter 6 of 10X RULE by Grant Cardone that speaks of assuming control of everything. If you believe and I hope you do, in God, this does not take away the place of God in your life but rather allows His power to work ever more presently within you as you become a good steward at all things God has made available to you, making all things work at a more sound position of awareness than sitting back and hoping situations will work without putting your faith to action.

You might be wondering at this point why I pick on this tread and yet the answer plays quite simple. In a world where we are born with many different arts, be not surprised when the very persons you expect to support or even encourage your endeavour become the same ones you have to keep pleading with at each time to support you. A request which gets many comical and even cynical responses. Most times it is put as an African disease, but why blame the entire Africa in an issue that affects us as Kenyans? Why not tackle it as an in-house based problem and solve it from within?

Answer is simple, because we have become so dependent on the outside world we cannot even start to think about how to solve basic difficulties on our own. And yet some I look not at as difficulties in any wise but self created misconceptions.

Ever heard of the statement, when you start up a business never depend on your friends to promote your venture? This I guess is not only an African problem but I will keep it home as little know I of the outside world. I would give a very simple yet subtle reason to this. First is that we only think of the now and ourselves, of how encouraging another’s venture will uplift them and not yourself, I call this a poor man’s mentality.

Don’t you know that when your friend rises so have you? In that they will rarely need financial or other assistance from you when they rise and they too could be a better tree of support for you when they are better off than when they are under you. The next time you are thinking of being selfish, be selfish in this manner, think of your future in case this person you are supporting rises, even if they never come to your aid, it will be one problem averted that would cost would have costed you much more than supporting their venture.

The other selfish mentality we have is always thinking that by supporting another person they will grow and become better than we are. This however, always leaves me wondering, ‘What is the fault of another human being better than me?” I mean, does it for a second they have more than I do stop food from falling on my table or my bed from carrying my weight at night?

Now you see why I don’t trust humans? Could be that they don’t think as I do and I am always wary of when their madness heightens and they feel like I don’t deserve to exist anymore and in such wise, dagger my belly and wipe me out of existence. I mean, life can only be enjoyed while you are alive, right? From a carnal way of thinking at least, so if you don’t want to think harder than this, at least pick this carnal connotation and just be wary of men.

Love them but please don’t expect too much from them, that would save you several pills from the pharmacist.

Until next time my dear treader, please stay blessed, and stay safe.

PePa: The Sketches Of Life.

ps. If you haven’t subscribed to my Youtube channel, remember to hit the link below, watch and subscribe

THIS IS A BAD DAY: The Sketches we make.

A good day is seen in the morning.

So I heard they said and for years, months, and virtually rolling into days did I hold this statement dear, without actually putting it through task or even scrutiny.

With this perspective in mind, it hence became so easy for me to dismiss a day based on how it began in the morning. You know the common statement so used to say you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today? Or even on the wrong foot? Now I see we are treading through the same track of life. Well, this sure doesn’t sound unfamiliar to most of us now, does it?

I never really thought much about all these little statements that with time have compounded to have so much of an effect upon my whole existence you know? And now looking to this morning I am returned to a video on mind-play I once listened to, ha ha, not with much thought to it albeit.

It was quite simple in saying but complex in meaning and so ultimately productive in results though with a little twist or catch if you ask me.

The video was this simple in that it brought in a play and control of the mind that actually works like magic but in essence, is no magic but just a simple, yet atomic compounding of habits which in turn become engraved into our minds and eventually lifestyles and growth.

You must be wondering where I am headed with all these unending relations and explanations by now, right? Get to the point PePa, get to the point huh? But before I get to the point, come easy on PePa because this is his narration, allow him to have a bawl while at it, and with his sketches will you realise that just as atomic habits dictate, the compounded effect and result of a habit is not seen from a singular upload of a product but is in essence gained from the little unnoticed and strenuous inputs. So is the build of these unending yet effective sketches.

So that put aside, I learned from that amazing mind-play video that for me to become who I want to be, I must hence magically but sequentially control my mind to that which I desire. Did you realise that the magic is all but lost in this process as I have to be deliberate in what I desire? The beauty of this is that once I can control my mind then, in turn, do I control my flesh and this overally affects the outcome of my life.

Now going back to my opening statement from this realisation, I come to terms with the fact that a good day is not seen in the morning but rather is made in the morning, first with the Great I Am and now being a vessel of His work must I enhance this truth that He already has installed in place.

Going too fast here? It is sang in hymns and creeds that,

This is the day X2

that the Lord has made X2

we will rejoice X2

and be glad in it X2

Now have you ever wondered where that hymn ever came from? mmmh, well, this is a hymn once propagated by the great King David in his songs of praise, most of which if you check deeply were not sang from a point of comfort and or satisfaction, no! And the onset of this roots from a promise by the Almighty himself that His mercies are new every day and that His grace is sufficient for us.

For this to be true then you must first believe it to be so within you and confess it with your mouth because everything in life we must breathe and speak into existence. If not, they all remain dead.

A good day is hence not seen but is rather put in place in the morning and it is up to us to breathe it into existence. The moment we hence curse it by using words like; Oh no, another day again? Will I be able to accomplish it today? Am I really going to make it this day? Is there any good in this day really? Let me just go with the flow and whatever may come my way is okay! Really? Are we now leaving everything to fate? Are we letting our lives be determined by the elements?

Am I being realistic? Maybe yes, and maybe not at all, but again ever asked yourself, ” What is reality?” I mean, what is real and what is fake? Another person came up with the idea that you can bend reality. You might look at his ideology as novel but truth is that there is nothing new under the sun meaning, we must each seek to dig deeper into the depths of what we believe and be ready to break our backs for more than is handed into our laps or palms for that matter.

Now opening my vision to the truth laid before me, I cast out all the doubts prior clouding my mind and judgement. I then embark onto a self-awakening to breathe to life the grace ever sufficient for me from the Almighty and with a determination embrace His beautiful mercies.

The dullness of the morning skies alongside the flakes of mist across my glass panes work together to build an assurance within my heart that this is a beautiful, calm, and most blessed day I have. And I believe the same for you my dear treader.

I give thanks for the blessings of new possibilities that I want to see come alive and the productivity to which I put in my energy and resources. We are what we eat and the same is true to we reap what we sow. I can hence only sow positive vibes for this day and pray you find the heart to do the same for you.

Now to let you put your sketches back in order, allow me to come to the close of this tread as I give you the chance to begin your own. Remember to bless each day you rise to as it is your blessing and not a right, there is no bad day in life however terrible the events may roll out at present, and you are destined to be your best no matter the sketches life dices along your path.

PePa: The Sketches Of Life.

Ps. I have a YouTube channel up and running that has been keeping me on toes. For more narrations on my Tube click link and please subscribe here.https://www.youtube.com/user/eyeot

DARE TO IMAGINE: Sketches beyond the eyes.

Oh misty eyes of the mountain below, keep careful watch of my brother’s souls, and should the sky be filled with, fire and smoke, keep watching over Durin’s sons……

 

A beautiful rhythm and tune by Ed Sheeran to match the misty atmosphere hanging above. So heavy is it that even the very vision I would assume once was mine is nowhere as the ever glowing magical horizon is nowhere to be seen. Call it vision masked and lost to the elements.

 

In most cases as such do you begin questioning reality itself. If an atmospheric space and distance of a limited 438kms are enough to cause such a blur to the eyes and even heart, what would happen if the whole expanse of the universe was handed to us as it has been?

 

Yes my dear treader, tell me if you may, what is real and what is fake? What is perfect and what is vague? Do you sometimes if not always question your very reality? Do you even dare to dream beyond what meets or even fits your eyes? And what do you see when you set your mind and not eyes to task?

 

Yes, I know most times it takes both the eyes and mind to work together and break to dawn the hidden truths we dare not imagine or even think about. Worry not then my dear treader for if you tasked your mind with such wonders then what would be the purpose of PePa? Haha, I too wonder.

 

So then, come along the sketches of PePa, and together let us tread these paths that so buffet our vision.

 

As I close my eyes and breath in the freshness of the misty air, one that has kept most persons indoors and rid the atmosphere of all its pollutants, I can calmly enjoy its bite as it cuts through the thin membranes of my nostrils and thence filling me up with a nostalgic surge of my younger years.

 

Years when I would reluctantly rise up earlier than the sun and grazing cows, brush my teeth and briskly wash my eyes of night sleep, and sliding into my pair of beige shorts, checked brown shirt and dark brown cardigan, I would rush to school. Two slices of bread always did the tummy a huge favour those beautiful chilly mornings and when shoe polish was out of reach, I had discovered that milking jelly also gave those black shoes a certain unimaginable glow.

 

Flipside was that the glow disappeared as soon as the cold mist outside hit the surface of my shoes and their final state was worse than the initial, quite laughable huh? Nothing to laugh about though as such memories, especially of getting a whooping in school for not being neat enough was not a welcome joy at all. The same has led me to this day to be a lover of canvas shoes other than leather shoes. How I wish they had allowed me back then to wear these same shoes that I can dorn an entire week without worrying about how much dirt they will gather on repeat.

 

All the same, those were beautiful days as they now fill my heart with their nostalgic fits. How I ended up winning an award for being the cleanest student at the end of the day, I can only attribute to the Almighty and discipline of washing and drying school clothes overnight to wear again the coming morning; Oh and we had no electric iron box to press them down to crispness back then so you can but figure out the strain and resilience it all built. Or did we? Aha, how so when we didn’t have electricity in the first place, or could it have used rechargeable batteries and even solar? Haha, quite laughable if you ask me as Chinese technology and their rechargeable everything hadn’t yet hit our part of the sphere then.

 

Times have past and days turned into many years, many beautiful years with nothing to regret but everything to be grateful about even as I reflect upon what is real and what is not.

 

Not to lose you still, come along the sketches of PePa again and this time around let us stop with him at the intersection into the central business district. The traffic police has raised his hand for my section of traffic to stop and the intersecting road is all but clear. What amazes my gaze is this rugged man who crosses before me. He has shaggy dirty hair, tattered clothes, and a dirty sack hanging on his drooping shoulders.

 

Sometimes I know I overthink things but help me understand, why is he using the zebra crossing, unlike nature dictates? I mean he is crossing the road but why the zebra crossing? Maybe you still don’t catch my drift but hey, the thing is, with the intersection open and he not being sane at all, nature dictates that he should be walking right through the main road, or in between cars but see, he isn’t. He calmly crosses right at the zebra crossing and for a moment I question his insanity or my sanity for that matter.

 

I am dazed as I look on at him go over to the other side and with oncoming traffic at his end he waits for the cars to drive through before he proceeds to cross again. ”Is he really insane?” I wonder,” or did I miss the entire truth of the matter?”

 

Such is life as we may see it my dear treader but I have been forced to most times like this think beyond what I see. As he calmly walked over the zebra crossing, a glimpse of the motorist driving beside me, with his mask on went on to show the unease and frustration at the snarl in traffic we were in. The rush of life in him versus the calm and surity in the supposed insane man brought lots to question.

 

What if the ones we thought insane were the actual sane ones yet we who thought ourselves sane were the insane ones? Okay then if that makes no sense, tell me why this motorist would bump the rare end of the car I am driving and as if nothing happened, they calmly drive off leaving the car with a deep scratch? Well, we can excuse them for now, but tell me about this other one who as I enter the junction whilst all other cars are at a stall, revs up in front of me and almost hits the front of the car and as if that is not enough, he goes on to snarl at me and pointing to his head tells me to use mine, hahaha.

 

What if, just as a friend asked, when you thought you were using oxygen you rose up one day and realised oxygen was instead using you and once you were of no more use it got rid of you and your death was then imminent?

 

Do you ever ask yourself what if? Let us dare to imagine and think beyond what light of day presents to the eyes. Let us have vision beyond the eyes and see all that our minds and hearts need to see, let us not limit ourselves to the only possibilities we have grown to see and live with; let us blow reality and explore all there is in the world and beyond.

 

Don’t you know that the Great I am told us to ask of Him and see if He will not give us the nations as our inheritance and the ends of the earth as our possession? Shall we then possess what we can’t imagine?

 

What if?

 

Allow my chilly fingers to type away the cold and hold back the freeze with happy knuckles as I say adios. and stay blessed.

 

PePa: The Sketches Of Life.

YOU CAN’T GIVE UP: The Sketches Of Surrender.

If I could hear my own voice through the commotion and clatter that has made reign within my heart…If I could shut off all the noise and cries of depression without. If only for a moment it could all cease and right here with me would be a new dawn…..If only, I mean it is feasible, right?

And yet all I still hear is the troubled turmoil within my heart, the consternation that so creeps in and reminds me of how many times I have failed before. Reminding me that there is nothing to make this time around any different.

Still, I hear the voices of all these motivational speakers chyme over and over and over again. Telling me that I can’t afford to give up, but then I can’t afford anything else now, can I? Giving up is easy and free, so why not?

I try to listen on but all that keeps drumming through my ears is that they have no idea what it really means to be at the precipice of hope, right near that same dawn through which joy should come and yet opening my eyes still see utter destruction coming in. All that hope they have preached and shouted over their lungs seems to have been just that, noise.

Not that any of my worries are playing in bits to rectify any predicament I currently am in but the more I delve into it, the more I tend to lose all my initial bearing. I thus find myself a prisoner of my own predicament; gasping for air in a choke and entanglement within all the reeds underneath the wave of my wallow.

I gasp for air but the more I open up my mouth, the more the water becomes salty and even dries up the very sound from my throat. No one is nearby to aid my now drowning self. I feel as if I am caught up in a fiction movie that is all but now seeming all real, or more like in that inception dream that fits reality more than the broken dreams themselves. Di Caprio would best describe the feeling as he loses his wife within the dream.

So, my dear readers, at the bottom of the ocean am I just like Jonah was in the Old Testament scriptures, this time around, however, there is no huge fish to come save me or even Leonardo Di Caprio’s spin pin back to reality. I am lost to myself and there can only be one Saviour of me. Trust me that can’t be the Christ either as He already played His part upon the cross and with that His love always abides with me.

So, seeing that there is only one person left to save me and they seem not to be around, I am forced to search much deeper within. To for a moment give no reign nor recognition to all the turmoil beating all around me and focus on myself. A moment if selfishness must thus take center-stage and realizing I have been given all I ever needed, I must find me.

Withstanding the pain and letting it wash over all my senses, I must grow numb to the pain to find the peace that dwells much deeper. Here is the Usah moment of discovery by Will Smith in his Bad boys’ movie down in the 90s.

Or for those deep in scripture, this is the moment you remember that the Almighty already gave you the power of life and death and with the heavens and earth as your witnesses then it is only you left to play your part and exercising your faith believe and act upon it.

I hence realize and get to see that my dawn was never even here in the first place and that I had limited myself to the timespan and parameters of the human mind when in reality, my perseverance in spite of all odds surely wins me through.

Did I just use the word perseverance? The same words that saw me through a tough Maseno School regime in the name of a motto devoid of the harsh reality on the ground. A most well-articulated motto in the Luo tongue read as,” Kinda piny emanyalo gimoro.”A direct translation to this would mean,” The patience and endurance upon the earth are all that can win you something,”… An easier translation, however, reads as,” Perseverance shall win you through,”

So, truth be told, right from the heavens above, to the earth below and the wind without. Right through the ages past and oracles alongside scriptures revealed, I have nothing to fear for I realize that all odds aren’t actually tipped against me as I would imagine, but, sure rest in my favour with my volition brought to call.

Now this time round I listen more keenly to the hope giver and motivational speakers and looking beyond their words I can finally see, that the race is not for the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance, happens to them all. And the secret lay all along before my eyes, that my dawn is not gone as I thought but as promised, though troubles may last for a night, my joy is here and not past in this dawn.

Neither is your’s my dear treader, neither is your joy gone, so hold on, keep on and never stop for any action in the physical world sure has a reaction in the spiritual realm.

What then shall your action in the physical world be? Defeat and surrender or a fight to the last breath? Will you fight standing or will you die on your knees? And if the victory belongs to the Almighty then to who does the battle belong?

So I need not even hear my own voice for the entire universe is speaking for me and it keeps repeating, ”You can’t give up, keep on going, you are almost there…”

Ps. Catch more of my sketches on my YouTube channel here.

https://www.youtube.com/user/eyeot

 

PePa: The Sketches Of Life.

AUGUST: Sketches through the omens.

It is said in the walk of life that we should always look out for the omens that lead us in this journey. The scriptures say to always listen to the still small voice and not be blinded by the huge storms and hauling winds around.

 

I have always wondered why listen to the small still voice yet all the answers lay in the inscriptions glowing in the huge occurrences? Truth is that in the midst of the most visible things and actions we think we see the truth but right therein do we miss the entire picture and are even led astray as it lays riddled in the small details rather than projected in the masses.

 

So hitting the 2nd day of August I am drawn back to this small post made by a follower on Instagram that said,” August, it’s like the Sunday of Summer.” Mmmh, I thought, August being like the Sunday of Summer is such a big proclamation indeed yet wrought in very simple words, huh?

 

I looked outside and noticed that after a long time without much brightness, the sun had finally come out to dance with the clouds and the blue of the sky projected all this joy in a symphony of an hour joy dance. It is the 2nd day of August as I write this post.

 

I honestly had to wait for a day’s length to see the true meaning of those words you see? Sitting here as I jot this I realise that those simple words proclaimed had every truth in them. All hid so openly you would easily miss it as you look at the dullness now around.

 

The sun came out on a single first day to proclaim the beauty of August. Looking at it today we may not even understand it all but opening the entire depth of the small still voice and the statement of reading the omens you realise that it has all been laid bare right before us yet we can but so easily miss it all.

 

So going back to our dark winter days, we must embrace the fact that the beauty of every season is never really displayed in the entirety of the season but rather in a moment missed within it. Note also that no matter how hard you are pressed at the moment, do not be too blinded by your predicament that you miss the entire bliss of the situation you are in.

 

Quite ironical you might retort but this lays as the truth of how often we miss the omens in our lives and give up. Thinking in the process that all our efforts have amounted to naught. In the process of this desperation do we miss the fact that every little effort has amounted to something and thus taken us through to the point we are at.

 

It is all pinned up and lined in the little efforts and steps we make. it doesn’t have to add up and be full-blown right at this time. When we reach the top of the mountain however, we will look back down and wonder how it is we made it all the way to the top with all the strain we had?

 

Do not be so taken by the pain and wonder why it all isn’t going away. Rather appreciate the process and be molded into perfection from the pain you face. It will become your testimony of a new day and rise to the top eventually. Whatever you do hence and whatever strain buffets your tread, keep at it and let it build patience in you to the perfection of undeniable fruits.

 

The clouds roll in to protect us from the scorching sun above as August grows into the promise of success and abundance. The omen is set to grow us and the stakes lay beautiful as it is.

 

May you have a most blessed and fruitful August ahead.

 

PePa: The Sketches Of Life.

WHAT HAVE WE DONE? Sketches of a Nairobi inhabitant pt4.

I can never get enough of all this beauty bursting right before my eyes. It always all seems like I was born specifically to enjoy all this amazing flow at a time such as this.

 

A time with no world wars one, two, and even the three that I all missed. A time with no cold wars or Spanish flu. A time with no Hitlers or Nazis with brutal force against the world and more against the Jews. A time in Africa when in a small country at the far East quaked colonialism and utter dehumanisation. When loyalties earned you hate rather than favour and love among your kinsfolk.

 

So here I am today and looking up above, I am lost in the beauty and drowned in utmost gratefulness at all that is at my disposal. And yes, it is almost but not impossible for me to get enough of the clouds that constantly gather above my head. The beauty in which they collect in waves in a thick grey is overwhelming as the wind almost always guides them to the same spot above my balcony.

 

See I cannot even bring myself to get enough or even miss this rhythmic sway of the bluegum trees as the wind swings them into a seductive dance of grace. Foul me if I yet miss the sweet cold breeze upon my cheek and tip of my almost round nose. Yes, that would be an oh so sorrowful error my dear treader.

 

The remission of the coastal beach breeze, hot and salty against my nostrils is brought to birth right here in this nostalgic fete that today’s elements play across my heart.

 

Yet in a moment as ecstatic as this; when the cars across the road flicker through in yellow, white and red light jingle, when the sun races fast down the Western horizon and the apartment lights flick on, my heart almost comes to a halt when this beautiful weakening flow takes me back to a moment in time so distasteful yet which must tap through my trails with PePa.

 

He is caught in the regular evening traffic, so ironical we have even deemed it regular and a part of us we must always race with it and even live with it. More like bedmates you may call it.

 

So my friend here from Dendi creations, in an attempt to let time not eat the best of him through traffic decides to engage his heart in the ruminations of the day. In the wake and drift of his mind, his eyes, unfortunately, tend not to miss the play that unfolds right before him.

 

Protruding muscles across his lean arms and a river of sweat across his brow were a thing of awe. The setting sun did much to radiate his glistening bare chest as he heaved his way in a race against time and through the heavy jammed traffic. His athletic legs draped in tattered shorts paced in a co-ordinated pace along the tarmac road as his heavy-lad cart had no option but to follow through in his pull.

 

A yellow-striped green commuter bus drives fast closeby as the tout swings dangerously through the open door. It is almost as if life has always been too boring for these touts that they chose to play flirt games with danger or even tempt death at how untouchable they are.

 

In most unpleasant reports, however, have such flirtations been met with an angered and famished death who so easily took their daring souls with her. I mean, how do you swing and even crouch low off a huge commuter bus moving at a death provoking speed along a narrow alley or busy highway and expect to get away with it unscathed let alone alive? `

 

So this death-flirting citizen swinging off the bus, on seeing the cart tracker, shouts abusively at the hard-working citizen trying to make a penny or two for his beautiful loving family waiting at home.” Hey there, get your poverty out of the way!” translated in Swahili as,” Wee bwana, toa umaskini kwa barabara”. Meanwhile, the commuter bus driver honks loudly at him to get off the road, whereto? both my friend and I have no idea of.

 

Okay, on hearing these words am taken aback as I, for once lose the meaning of poverty and miss the distinction between poverty and riches or wealth if it counts. But to take the meaning more literally again, between these two, the cart tracker and the swinging tout, I thought the cart tracker was richer than the tout, I mean if maths didn’t depart from my fingertips so long ago.

 

The truth, however, if you asked me is that non of these two are poor in whatsoever way if they are honest with their work and work for the best interests as supposed. My senses break at this point as right beofore my friend’s eyes plays the very act of why we fail as human beings for we have but lost the sense of being. We have brought distinctions among ourselves and lost all reason or sense of living.

 

Africa kills her sun, I guess is what plays right before his eyes. The death of a citizen by a citizen and for the citizen. Instead of uplifting and encouraging one another and deeply realising that we all need each other and are equals from the start, we have discriminated against one another. Yet we are the same people who will go up in riots through the streets when a fair-skinned human has a go at a dark-skinned human. I mean, didn’t we hand them the rifle in our discriminatory hearts and acts already? Why then do we riot when they bring out our initial inhibitions openly?

 

In this movie called Adu, this one policeman says that the problem with humans and Africans for that matter is that when they see the west erect a wall, all they see is that the west is selfish and wants to prevent them from crossing over. A worse bit is that they see the barricador as hiding treasure and better opportunities on the other end yet the truth is that, the barricador knows, that he has problems of his own he needs to solve within his walls and you too need to stay on your end of the wall and solve your own problems.

 

The question, however, is that how will the African solve his own problems when he already hates himself and his neighbour so much so that he deems him more inferior when the truth is that there is no distinction between them. We can’t preach water and drink wine I guess, not that wine is bad but if drank alone then what is the pleasure in that?

 

Returning to our tout loose tongue and cart tracker, the movie has not seen its end yet till the cart tracker now with bloodshot eyes and using his left hand to wipe away the flooding sweat across his face looks up; having been forced to squeeze himself to the end of the road and now with one cartwheel railing over the pedestrian walk, he is angered and staring threateningly at the commuter bus driver asks him a most humiliating question, ”Unapigia mama yako horn?”Ā  to mean,” Are you hooting at your mother?”

 

Well, well, well. I won’t be the judge of no persons at this very point but the name mother has so been used variably as a mother still remains supreme despite all odds. The same name coming in handy as the most humiliating insult anyone could ever use on another. The same insult has been seen to bring down even the greatest rulers of all time. I think it prodes right at the core of the animal within us and leaves us all as baseless animals, right? Such were my friend’s sentiments and yet if asked, I am stuck at the derogative nature of the insult and lack of respect for mother’s supremacy.

 

Yet still, the same name, mother, is seen within us when we are at the end of our wits, huh? When we see darkness come upon our lives we will always call unto our mothers first. Take for example the most current happening in the US when a man was kneed down to death he could all but call for his mother for help.

 

My friend, however, with so much concern, still wonders what deeply motivated the cart tracker to think that the deepest language he could ever use to restore calm and re-assert himself as an equal road user needed to have a woman’s name in it?

 

Morals maybe? I for one will honestly not be able to get the correct answer to that sincere concern, what of you my dear treader?

 

Yet still, what have we done to our morals and self-esteem but flushed it down the drain quick? Why have we taken the words,” Love your neighbour as yourself,” and misinterpreted it for lack of love at all since we don’t even know who our neighbour is? The ball remains in your court I guess.

 

As narrated through the eyes of Dendi creations partner with the help of PePa through the sketches of life.

 

PePa: The Sketches Of Life.

 

SATURDAY CASCADES: Sketches Through My Day.

Amazing sky glazed day on the 18th of July. Note how fast time flies by, not determined by whether you began at the top or the bottom? The day still comes by and sure freezes your skin to a good 15 degrees Celcius.

 

Such is the day that graces my equatorial bearings of the hemisphere. In most cases such as this, I would recall a friend say that this is a bad looking day, but is it really? The little drizzles cascading my heavens assure me that despite all, the heavens aren’t yet closed and still will bring tranquil in the deepest of turmoils.

 

The public buses and minibusses compete to be first to get to town along the road and their blaring hoots and counter-hoots fill the roads and airs in unison. All in a rush to make the best of what little is available. The pregnant mother crossing the road ahead holding their three-year-old goes almost unnoticed as the heat of the rush rises. The yellow-lined green commuter bus misses her with a whisker as the bystanders are all but amused as they get back to their chores. Always more to rush for than stop and notice. Not to miss the fast speeding oncoming blue Subaru Impreza.

 

Over on the left side of the road stands one lady shouting tomato prices as the one seated quips in with potato prices. All sounds like a well-choreographed chorus only devoid of an orchestra. Their tempo however most certainly deludes you of what wares they actually are vending. Most times it fills up to noise within the soul as the wetting durst under their feet binds into a clumping mud.

 

As I was making the entry into the main road, I almost wondered if my apartment had shifted during the night as the sides of the main road lay in heaps of soil from earthmovers. Probably came in to work during the night amidst the 9pm curfew. Most of the roadside bandas too lay a waste and in their places stand table mats of groceries.

 

Man must live I guess and the quest for more money to feed the emptying tummies never ends. The disorganization however remains a menace to worry about. The commotion is at its heights as even the so required sanitization and desired hygiene levels stand wanting. Face masks rarely worn, at this point, looks more of an accessory than a necessity as what really matters is that extra coin to heavy the deep pockets and ease the pangs of hunger that so creeps the tummy.

 

Not one to point fingers yet at the same time I know not how to ignore the things that light creep into my eyes and with such course, seep into my conscience. These are the facets in our daily lives that stand untended yet must remain of utmost consideration as we all need a living despite the pandemic ripping through our nations.

 

There still lays a task force established to deal with local business enterprises I guess, right? And another to ensure safety and precautions during such a pandemic is uplifted and maintained too, huh? Yet despite all these being set in place, we too as citizens and individuals still stand accountable for our actions I presume?

 

We might have a government in place but yet we too remain as our own police task right here on the ground I suppose. Well then, my commute leads me right into the traffic packed CBD, quite strange for a Saturday morning but yet again, man must live. But with all these people packed within the CBD, why is business so slow with it?

 

If only I could have studied demographic flows versus business trends in tandem, such economic shifts would make more sense to me. Here we are though, a stringent Saturday morning and cold day with it yet my heart still flows with brimming joy. call it using lemons to make lemonade rather than having a choking bitter pill of the same.

 

Before my rumblings roll over, how are you my dear treader? Enjoying your Saturday from your end? Make the best of it and let every joy that comes by not sift through your fingers.

 

Stay blessed and stay safe.

 

PePa : The Sketches Of Life.

 

 

NOTHING TO LOSE: The sketches of choices.

Ten feet tall and bulletproof, I never thought that I had a thing to lose, but it looks like after all, am gonna have to choose…

 

Sometimes and in most cases have I found my back against the wall with little to no choices at all. But in all these moments has one thing stood out tall and that is; I have always had a choice however limited they have been. It is my vision of these choices and the dimension from which I view them that has always been limited and not the choices themselves as truth be told, limited choices still are choices, right?

 

Let us pick an example for instance of PePa who has a crushing workload ahead of his day. His alarm goes off at 6 in the morning and before he can even say grace and be thankful for his day, he remembers all the chores and targets he is supposed to meet ahead. Instead of this being a motivation for him to rise up, it instead becomes the very slump that crashes his heart to naught. He struggles to rise off his bed and all his nerves cry foul. Like someone struck them all down with a sledgehammer and from him are all wits departed.

 

Most of us if asked would say that PePa has no choices left as his day is already a slump to begin with. Still, you will go on to elaborate on how much bills he has to pay and difficult situations his day has ahead of him today and so he has no option but to stress about it. But tell me my dear Treaders, despite the kind of day he has ahead, is stressing over it going to pull him through and make it any better?

 

I hear another shout that he is not stressing but rather planning ahead for it is said that failing to plan is planning to fail. Oh my dear Treader, help me stop this rage that is building within as I know that with rage so fails my cognitive brain’s train response to proper thought.

 

So with utmost calm and composure filled with empathy allow me to ask,” How then is PePa able to soberly plan fro his day ahead and make it better if he is all but stress-eaten out?

 

Aha, now I picture you falling in line with my reasoning huh? Did you however notice that PePa had a choice all from the onset of his day and with the strike of his alarm? He had a choice to wake up and being grateful for his health and breath for that day look at the brighter side of life which was that he was alive. I mean, who among us loves not being alive? Life as they said is for the living, right? And our God and maker as we all know is not a God of the dead but a God of the living, right? Want me to quote that for you from scripture? Sorry I won’t as that would only make you to lazy to open your oracles.

 

Now that we are together, allow me to put a tag to what fails our choices as humans. I have no idea why the human mind in all its sanity picks with so much ease all negativity over every single strand of positivity. Maybe it is because there are a thousand possible ways for a human to die (Can you imagine they even came up with such a documentary?)… Why wouldn’t they come up with one practical way to live and explain it in detail, something like always be positive, right? But we already know that so why bother with the details, huh? Because the devil as they say lies in the details, but I never seen him so I wonder why we give him so much credit after all. truth is that there is never no devil in any details but deeper truths and power in whatever we give eminence in our hearts and minds.

 

There was a beautiful sunrise this morning right before the clouds took phase to cover the golden beauty. The same grey clouds have hang on for the most part of the day rendering a once-promising warm day to total cold and freeze. Despite this rather gloomy effect, my heart has not stopped beating and my skin seems to glow with beauty protected from the scorching sun’s rays by the same grey clouds. They say that PePa prefers to call a glass half full rather than half empty but just in case you never noticed…. A hand only has to be open and empty for it to be able to grasp or even receive more for that matter.

 

So you see my dear Treader all I have done so far is to take you through a tread of choices? And this is just but the glimpse into choices as many lay ahead with an ardent truth that it all begins with and from you.

 

So then, in an ocean full of troubled waters and darting alligators will you choose to see danger or to see food in the midst of a drought? The choice sure is yours. But in a world full of negativity and unending pain, why don’t you choose to be the joy, love, and kindness that the world so needs and bleeds for?

 

Until next time, allow me to peek out and see if any stars will twinkle back at me through the dark grey clouds.

 

PePa: The Sketches of Life.