Monthly Archives: June 2019

BEHIND SILENT WHISPERS:the sketches of God’s love.

She got him through a C-section,always shortened from that dreadful name called caeserian to mean incision of the abdominal and uterine walls for baby delivery.

She had no option but to go through with it.Funds did not allow but still baby had to come out safe,I mean there were two humans here at risk,both the mother and the unborn baby.Who would want to bear a child,and let them grow up being called a curse as they killed there own mother at birth?

For questions sake I would have asked where the father of the yet to be born child was at the time.In this age however most of that parenting and presence has kind of lost its entire sense.But for all goodness’ sake who am I even to point fingers? A cloud at righteousness you know?Or to easen it,sometimes you can find the pot calling the kettle black…

But the pot gains beauty the moment the kettle loses its sense of warmth,as the pot can keep the food warmer over a longer period in comparison…

Beauty to this continuation is that instead of me shading the judgemental finger,I have realistic PePa faithfuls like you to throw the dice and watch the topple,right?

A beautiful baby boy comes forth into a cruel world.Initially however,he is received with the lying smiles and laughs of joy and as he stretches open his hands,he is ready to receive all beauty from the world:that in my opinion should be the rule of thumb but hey,the coldness he receives as most of us have is more than his tender soft skin can take…non of our’s has taken it either,not to date as we claim to “ng’ang’ana” (hustle/struggle) to make life flow smoothly.

Let us talk of baby daddy first,now where did his pretty a@# go to?Ahem,let me rephrase,where is he all this time we mentioning mama bear and baby bear?

Daddy bear took to his heels the moment he tasted the honey pot,honey comb broke and his initial promise of marriage I guess with it.So here we are left with mama bear picking up the dripping honey from the forest floor on her own.

What about the army bees you might ask?They as every other one of us did not fight for their queen as common rule states but stood on the alleys and sidewalks.Doing what you might ask?They were busy buzzing obscenities and accusations directed towards queen bee,telling her of her faults and the mistake she made in exposing their honey to the outsiders.

Anyway,we can’t cry over spilt milk or honey for that matter now,can we?The gift is born into the world and suckles very well growing into a strong little man.Man is quite intentional as this he does not attain as per normal expectation.

He grows quite well but at the age of two still no mutterings of mama or papa are heard from him.Now this could be exempted but on the other hand he is not learning to use the potty as expected by the age of four.Quite unprecedented this could be by human standards.

But who came up with these standards I ask.Again remember the buzzing bees along the sidewalks and alleys?I came to realise they dictate so much in society as most of us heed to their buzzes .You might ask how but check for a moment what social media platforms are putting as standards…Facebook,Instagram,Twitter and many more I lose count of…

Who dictates this on social media again?Should be the bumble and buzzing bees I guess.

Hope we on the same drift by now huh?Little Gift is now 6 years old and knows not how to use the toilet,that could be excused for loose bowels and a defect in his digestion but why can’t he talk or hear?This must be a curse,right?Maybe a misfit in society,I think maybe even the father was another man’s husband and the child has been cursed,right?

But what of the many other children born out of wedlock or say by other women’s husbands?We can’t see these you know?We are blind to the world around us and that judgemental finger plays quite well at this point.This is an isolated case you might quip.

Mama bear,Neline that is,has not been asked for her opinion on her baby’s state of affairs by now I guess.No one knows and in most cases even cares what she feels about it.Her strength and determination on the other hand is admirable…quite resilient in my opinion…humble I may add.

Gift is taken to school by Neline,mama bear just like other kids.He learns not much as he can’t talk neither can he hear,to add pepper to a bleeding wound,he hasn’t learnt to use the toilet by now,thank God for introduction of all size diapers.Modernisation has its benefits I must add.Let us say glory to God always for little indulgences like diapers,right?

Beauty to all this scenario(could look like madness to others),she talks to him daily and he smiles and walks away,in her mind she is hearing but just can’t respond.

Just like every dark and blinding grey sky has a silver lining,something strange and most unexpected happens.A friend,Tina,asks Neline about Gift,if he hears or not.Mama bear says she thinks he hears but just can’t respond.Call her an optimist but what do you expect from a loving mother to her only child?Tina goes ahead and suggests an experiment with Gift to know and find out about this.

Tina tells Neline,mama bear that is,to call his son from behind and see if he responds.She does that and there is no response,next she tries with dropping a spoon behind him,he turns not till mama bear taps him on the shoulder,the smile on his face however is undeniable.This hence has to be tested medically as it is now evident that he doesn’t hear.

You are sure wondering how gift is fairing in school huh?Truth is that just like any different person among us in society,he is treated differently,almost like a cripple,ridiculed by other children at most oft times.

But what did you expect from a society that refuses to bring up our young with love and a training in the fear of God?Where the house helps are our children’s guides all through even over the weekends when we need to chat away on our phones?To avoid disturbance from their noises we even get them mobile phones and games to keep them distracted,such a privileged and elite society we are,right?

Well,that was the peril that led Neline,mama bear to sob in private behind closed doors,away from Gift.She wouldn’t want him to feel like the cause of mama’s pain and sorrows.So she hid away,cried and prayed to the only God she knew,in all this time He seemed not to be hearing her.I mean,she wouldn’t be sobbing if He,God that is,heard,save for tears of joy,right?

Remember that pic of a Lion and his cub,the caption on it says,”I thought about quitting till I noticed who was watching,” that right there was mama bear,Neline and her little cub,Gift.She would never show him she was weak and defeated.

She spoke blessings into her son everyday and told him he would be the best God wanted him to be.That nothing would stop him from achieving his dreams no matter what.Gift always smiled at her as if he heard and left for school gleefully.But when he came back later on or mama bear went to pick her,he never seemed happy.

Takes me back to this afternoon she goes to school to pick him and finds him in a mess of himself;no shorts on as he couldn’t hold himself,he was naked with only his shirt on and a naked butt.All the other kids were laughing at him.

She had a scarf around her neck that came in quite handy.Wrapped her little cub with it and took him home.Closed the door behind her and cried.This in my opinion was the turning point of her life.

She cried in earnest to God and next took little cub,Gift, to hospital for further ENT tests.Unbeknownst to her,Gift’s condition was curable.A surgery was emminent and corrective removal of the accumulating fluid between his nose and ear would be possible.This apparently was the reason he could neither hear nor talk.

She asked about the cost for the same and was shocked at the figures.Business had been low,she had even moved in with her sisters to cut on costs so this was a blow…But no cost was too much compared to the joy hearing her son’s voice would be back and he would be able to call her “Mama”.

Procedure took in the most 45minutes.Mama bear was called.Hands clasping her head in fear she walks into theatre but what she meets is unexpected.A frightened and crying Gift seated on the hospital bed (he was frightened by the many people surrounding him with mama not nearby).

You know what?The surgery was successful and at 6 years old,Gift had to start learning to talk like a toddler would.This in essence sent tears to Mama bear’s eyes.Such news was overwhelming.A miracle in itself.

The curse was no longer a curse and the little unnoticeable cub,Gift would be the source of so much joy to her mama.The tears of sorrow are soon replaced with those of joy as a friend calls her,comes picks her from Gertrude hospital as she din’t have even fare back.

The Monday next,Neline receives a letter from Gift’s school that they can’t accommodate his son’s kind anymore.He had become a burden to them by now and the other kids at school were always uncomfortable around him.

Did they hear her side of the story?No,did they care to listen?No,not at all.

As Neline is narrating this events to her sister,she comes out as an angel and calms down her heart.Tells her not to worry as everything would be alright.Neline leaves her sister’s place and true to the words of her sister;a school she had never known existed is right down the corner.They ask for an interview and Neline tells them her son just began talking after six years and knows nothing.

There answer is another miracle.”Bring him in as he is,we will work at his pace,”

You need another miracle on the mountain Neline?God just spoke to you face to face.

What can PePa add,nothing but lies.

To God be the glory always.



Sketches of broken love.

I could write a tale where you and I stare into each other

But it could be flawed without going any further

How about a tale where you and I love each other?

But we could be in trouble if it were found by father

So I will tell a tale not marred by beauty

Neither one that looks so pretty

As pretty and beauty sure seem laughable

When in all serenity it should be agreeable

I lose all sense as I strive to find reality

As it all seems masked in futility

A future that could all but play in adversity

Adversity so brought upon my head through ambiguity

Its ambiguity makes me lose all track and flow

A flow that would hence poise my glow

In the direction and core relation of my tale

A tale to tell hence deals me a blow

Right below the belt as tension rises within and grows

So please don’t go as this thoughts form

And I find the right course to home

Home where the heart sure finds rest

Rest and peace that could only manifest

Manifest in within your chest and towards me crest.


LOVE:The sketches we miss pt2

The cold bit into her feet and fingers and still some more slipped through the side of her tattered cardigan.From the look of the patches on it it told a tale of battered days and undeniable pain through the rainy season.

She sat crouched by the sidewalk with her head between her knees.No plate or empty cup lay by her side as was common in these streets.So no,she din’t need anyone’s coin or wrinkled note handed over to her.Clearly even her lethargic fingers did stay folded rather than outstretched as was eminent on normal days….Normal days?What was even normal now that we quite overlooked how sufficient the Almighty’s grace has been unto us?

I was on my way to a meeting but all forces as it were this day held me hostage to this spot.I found my back rest against a side-post,a concrete electric post.Some portions of it hang loose in cracks and steel lay exposed to rust and weather beating.Much I wouldn’t delve into,just a typical reflection of the dilapidation of public funds.Who am I though to even bring this to surface?Maybe an angry government insider would do a better job,making him the voice of the people.

I move a little away as I fear the overhead hanging street lamp would somehow be swayed by the wind and find its rest on my head.You know they say on the day of the forest monkey’s death every tree becomes slippery,right?

Backing onto the wall my gaze goes back to her crouched form,almost looks like a heap with the covered head.A maroon half woven marvin does little to give her the warmth she so craves.

It is mid-afternoon in the month of June,the skies hang low and dense,almost threatening to pour in a rage,like suddenly there was a fight between the heavens and the earth and the clouds are the pawns sent to rage war.

My attention is drawn back to the lady by the side walk as she cracks a cough,literally,you can almost feel the struggle she has in getting one out her throat,all dry and laboured.A sense of defeat in her is all that my heart struggles with.

Pedestrians pass by her side some even knocking her in the rush to get to their destinations,some vendors of water in plastic bottles(the degradation of our precious ecosystem,the utmost castigator of global warming)..still am no environmentalist however.The other day I pass by Kirinyaga Road;this guy seated by the pavement is munching away his maize from its cob and on finishing his delicious corn yanks the cob into the middle of the road.

Naturally am offended and do the unexpected.I pick it up and throw it back at him,he with all his rough rage and rudeness yet missing the whole point am trying to pass across,yanks it back again.Disgusted I ask him why he can’t for a moment think about the consequences of his actions.I walk away as I leave him glaring and feeling all so justified.

So here seats this lady as no one notices her in the bundle she is.Some are running away to barth from the coming rains but her as she seems has nowhere to run to.The streets as I guess have become quite accustomed to her heap of presence but the people they seem not to notice.

I could be one of them,done it quite often but this today is different.One in the hundreds of street dwellers who ask not for money,what they desire is a deeper need. A yearning for more than money and material…Maybe am wrong,yes maybe am write or maybe non…Maybe she is misplaced,maybe she is home,maybe I am being silly,maybe am just over-thinking like most of us always believe they are.

In this rage of emotions I am once again drawn to the heavens as they rumble in rage,the sky grows dark and a streak of lightning is seen at one portion striking over and against the skyscrapers,a wire line snaps as cars hoot into traffic.A spark flies into the air and above the cars,pedestrians duck for safety as the spark ignites a fire mid-air,screams and shreaks rise up and others run to safety.

My dear sidewalk seater is unmoved.I draw closer to her and crouch beside her.She is unmoved by the commotion all around.I tap her on the shoulder and she looks me in the eye,face looks devilish to be honest.Darkened cheeks and reddened lips.But something intense lies within her black irises behind a milk white background.A beauty so intense to not notice,one you will always miss in her crouched pose.

I am transfixed for a moment as she still stares at me as if to ask if I need help,quite ironical I must say.I find myself rather lost than she seemed to be a while past…

Regaining my composure and oblivious to my commotion-filled surroundings,I ask her if she is okay.She looks at me and says she is quite fine and asks if she can help me.

This is quite a strange exchange in my opinion.I ask her if she needs any help and she says she would be happier if she wasn’t in this world.Am taken aback for sure.Struggling at this point to form words within my mouth I again ask her if I could help her onto her feet as the rains were about to pound hard almost right now.

She looks me again in the eye and says the most intense words I will never forget,”If the world would offer such beautiful hands to its inhabitants then I would really love to live in it.Until then I am safe on my own.”

Was I transfixed before?Nope,right at this moment I find myself with a drier throat than her coughing one and no words form anymore.I lift her off her feet as my mind races in a myriad of thoughts and questions.

Have I been able to show enough love?Have I been kind enough?In my self righteousness have I missed the people who really needed me,bypassing them like they was logs or planks in a forest base?Have I ,have I not?

I walk her to a nearby cafe and sit her at a corner and there remained wordless,motioned an assistant and pointed at the menu for two mugs of hot beverage.

The heavens finally let loose outside and a heavy downpour ensues.The fight between the heavens and the earth had no amicable solution it seems and the war of hailstorm had to be the equalizer….


CATCH NATURE IN THE ACT:sketches of God’s essence.

If you could imagine it

Then you could see it fit

Wait till home it hits

And everything then sits

Well upon the bushel

Sorry I meant in a stand still

Imagine catching natureRight within the act

Before you could even venture

It comes out in a pact

To show you all within the future

That beauty is unmatched

That even if you searched

To the ends of existence

Nothing lasts in an instance

And no it ain’t in the distance

So here in our present

Everything is clear as crescent

The beauty of His sweet essence

Wrapped up in the glory of His presence

His glory brought into existence

Right here without persistence

Let the heavens speak

Let the earth’s quake

And all man’s work wake

To shine off God’s beautiful break.


FIND YOURSELF: Sketches of clutter.

In the midst of all the clutter

Your mind and heart may come into conflict

Leading to an ultimate shutter

If not at all explicit

It could seem like a rider in the dark

Who by all essence could depict

That he ain’t lost in the murk

Sometimes it all seems epic

Till the writer is left in the dark

And mind and heart end topsy into a quake

If only the writer or rider

Could find himself within the clutter

And piece the heart together and monitor

Then the turvy or topsy on the outer

Would never find the heart and mind within

It all lies in the illusionFind the reason within the confusion

And find your mind within heart in fusion

Oooh these sketches all come into union.


SKETCHES OF GRATITUDE:thank God for life.

Good morning most beautiful child of the Lord God Almighty?How are you today?Cold huh?An amazing weather this might be.Am blessed beyond measure and believe you too are.I thank God that you can read this message,meaning God has blessed you with life and health,beautiful sight and another day to glorify Him.It is all we will do,glorify God in all circumstances.




DON’T MISS A THING:Sketches into the night.

She laughed warmly and heartily into my ears over the phone as I told her I was still on my numerous glasses of lemon ginger and honey concoctions and had been so the whole day.”I still have my pills in the bag if you want some,”this she said as she laughed on.

I remember telling her the previous day I was no fan of pills or drugs unless it was a puff of pot.She laughed so hard eating off an entire two or three minutes with laughter.Wasn’t counting though as the laughter was quite contagious.Could have been five.

She wiped off the tears at the edge of her eyes as she chuckled down her ebbing laughter,put her nimble yet neat hands on the table.Pretty manicured in a good baby pink I must admit.

She looked me square in the face and asked if I was serious on my pot weeding story.Laughing hard and deep I looked back into her and asked if she knew the kind of effect a good puff of authentically dried and rolled pot felt like in the head?

Her smile lingered on as if in thought or contemplation…her lips moved as if to imagine the feel of its taste on them then she looked back at me and with those beautiful black irises upon a milk white background said no.”Such a pure soul this one is,”I reiterated to myself.

I honestly don’t know where and why I get this strong urges to just pot away uninterrupted.Sometimes I think it is the feeling of doing something wrong that urges me on.Maybe I should fight these urges huh?Ten of you are nodding but the minority strong three are saying no…hahahah all in my head I guess.

On the flipside however,I hear everyone has a poison however good they are on the surface.I wonder what her’s is.Hahaha maybe with long life and God’s grace someday I will sure find out.

So what is your poison and what good or bad does it bring to society,to you or to both society and you in tandem?Ever thought along those lines even for a moment?

While the lady in red ebbed off her hearty laughter over the phone,I told her our friendship had been sadly ended by her laughter and that my cold would sure be gone come the day next.When I met her the other day she wasn’t really in red though save for her inchy red stilletos and with the legs for days she got,they sure blended well into each other.

I look into my sky and the heavy grey clouds behind whips of fading silver linings is un-assumable.Still they hold so much beauty within them.Ten minutes later with a series of overlaps and hooting from other commuters,I am seated at this utility store along Limuru road and staring at the dark sky above in awe.

There are no stars in my sky thus it ain’t the constellations that draw in my essence.Rather,there is an amazing co-relation and an awe in the seamless union between the day and night via the approach of dusk.I would love to catch darkness in the act as she steals away the daylight.I bet non of you ever has.Feels like catching the sun red-handed or is it set-handed as he disappears into the red horizon,quite a fete that would be.

So where once my beautiful grey clouds fought with the silver in an attempt to burst into rain now remains a mask of darkness.The only squeeze they managed was a little drizzle making the tarmac wetter and earth a little damper.

The sweet smell that once came with the onset of the rains is nowhere in the wind.It however,has been swept away into the rivers abroad.The winged termites also must have been eaten away by birds up in the air .

In its place though is this sweet cold air that blows to fill my nostrils and hence lungs with a freshness of a thousand winds.Scientists speak of ocean currents say cold Benguela currents and warm Aghulas currents meeting to breed new aquatic life.I also believe that even winds do meet to spring up new life and strength whilst we aren’t watching.I mean,my soul feels at peace even as I sit and breathe in the freshness of this evening.Not even the scent of gasoline along the edges can beat the ultimate bounce of freshness along my grain.

A little lighting to the streets and am allowed a view of a displaced city acacia tree top.Insects dance to the light as bats whoop over and above.A little mist forms beyond forcing me to reminisce and yearn for the Limuru mist or view of Sagana hilltop’s fog.If you love the outdoors in its full splendour,then would you appreciate what am talking about.

My nose is blocking up and running with a cold.My tenth glass of concoction today is becoming colder and hence I am force to come off my ruminations.

Allow PePa to say goodbye to the evening as I await another day of God’ s blessings and beauty.This Spanish tune of the El Mariachi behind Vicente Fernandez’s Amor Bravio song plays a good note to my ears.



DO NOT BE STUPID: Sketches of gratefulness!

Good morning beautiful and most amazing child of God.What can we say but thank you unto the Almighty God?Everyday we come up with petitions and requests,lots upon thousands of requests and demands we put before God,not stopping for a moment and looking back to see all that He has done for us.When we look back all we see are the mistakes lying behind us,but have you ever looked beyond and above to see how good and amazing God has been to us?How many battles He has won for us?How excellent He has been to us?When was the last time you were bedridden?When was the last time you slept hungry?When was the last time you lacked a place to sleep?When did you last lack someone to talk to?And even if there was one such moment,din’t God get you out of it one way or the other?

Do not be blinded or deafened,do not let your senses grow numb to feel.