Monthly Archives: June 2020

FRIDAY RUMINATIONS: Sketches through my evening.

I can’t find it, no I can’t find it, I can’t find the key to your heart, oh help me find it, help me find the key to your heart….

 

Oh the romance and thrill of love and falling into its grasp. Even the most unrealistic statements start to come alive and all unbelief is made reality right before our eyes. If only such miracles could be made viable in our current times…… These, however, remain illusions best played along the strings and symphonies of blues playing in the background of a dark lit room, where the lights fade off into the verandah to come in union with the strings of a cowboy-hatted guitarist strumming on his guitar while seated upon the wooden rails. With face lowered lovingly upon his masterpiece of an instrument.

 

Such soothing music to the mind and heart can only work in labels to ease the mind of the uncertainties of the moment…. I always try to find my flower of hope among tulips of poison. How else is a man to live sane and sound in a world full of guns, swords, and a threat of missiles all around not to mention the threat of a scourge not seeming to go away? He lives in the moment my dear treader…and I suppose that is why you aren’t scared of accompanying PePa along his murky treads, right? They could be murky but ooh so full of every moment to live for.

 

Not even that noisy heavy cycle rev renting the air with pollution from lowgrade gasoline can steal this moment from me right now.

 

Haven’t you ever wanted to escape everything even if for an impulse moment? And for that impulse, though in a crowd of insanity, to find your escape among misfits? At that moment do you become immortal in your sphere and all sense of imminent death rings no ounce of fear within let alone all around, right?

 

But why do we as mortal men and women fear death so much? Even the mention of it cascades chills down our once excited spines and in that moment of mention, all once jolly faces grim with sorrow and an aura of sadness to fill the ridges of wrinkles caressing the sides of our noses and top of our brows?

 

Isn’t it amazing that even the vilest and tipsiest of drunkards, once standing at the edge of a cliff and threatening to jump over, shudders with fear when told that a  lion is creeping up behind them? Well, someone once told me that fear is human nature and that life is too good to die, haha, I laughed and will so laugh today as truth be told these to PePa are subscriptions to a warrant of collapse right from the onset of their mention.

 

So yes, it is better getting lost in the whiles and strums of soft piano chimes and rhythmic pull of strings upon the guitar to pass away this Friday evening, with an imagination of dim-lit verandahs if only even for a moment impulse rather than shuddering with fears of what may become of me tomorrow, if I will be around or not…. For PePa, I guess the present is more sumptuous and worth savoring than the uncertain tomorrow. For in the present he can make that long-overdue call and say halo. He still can appreciate small unnoticed gestures from both friends and strangers…he can stretch a helping hand at the moment and give a smile where non really was but tomorrow, that sure lays uncertain…..

 

Today as the clouds take reign upon the once sunny day, he can still peek to the heavens and trusting his Almighty Father is looking down upon him, be grateful for the breath that so plays between his lungs and beating heart. All these lay in the present to him and he loves the taste of the droplets of rain upon his lips and their drench against his back that all signify an overflow of abundance….. for non of these is taken for granted, not even that crow cawing in the distance as it welcomes the night.

 

Nothing beats the calm of treading through these sketches on a quiet Friday evening with no disco noises and resounding familiar club music through the air….

 

Even chaos can be total bliss you know?

 

PePa: The sketches of life.

MID-JUNE: Sketches of welcome.

The movements increased rapidly and the stairway seemed to have found a life of there own. First, it was a show house, and soon after a number of voices could be heard from across the door, this meant that that lonely house had found the warmth of new tenants.

Walking up the stairs from an eventful though tiring walk I am met with this blur of music. Tunes strange to my ears yet that would not really be a problem because lyrics to me have always been a matter of taking in or letting it out from the other side. The main thing is that it seems the warmth received by this once empty house came at a cost, a cost of losing my quiet evenings on the balcony listening to Chinese Zeng relaxation melodies.

Well, two choices do I have at this point; either knock on their door and ask the new neighbours to tone it down a little or suffer the agony of blaring music all through. I am not one to dally with my comfort so the second option came in as no option at all. For a moment’s pause, I would have let it slide and assume the new place was too good to go unwelcome with a loud blast for music. But it was only the blair and no sounds of persons so I guess it was one of those people who just love it loud.

Just in case you are wondering, my knock on the door was very fruitful albeit, with very few words exchanged in sign language. Nope, they are not deaf as you already know they were listening to music on full blast, wait a moment, could they have been? Haha, I doubt, I just was already too worn out to even utter a word of Karibu(welcome), as already they had done the honors of not letting me like their habits.

Away from the music they looked understanding as soon, my walls relaxed from the loud thuds and vibrations. If they could speak then these walls would have vehemently thanked me and let me know how much of a favor I had rendered their way. I sure sound like the worst neighbor right now huh? I am grateful they are in and appreciate the fact that in these hard times and being mid-month, they must have really looked around a lot to find something favorable for them. So before I go on to taint their oncoming good neighborship let me first welcome them warmly.

But how warm can you be in this age where everyone locks themselves behind closed doors and blasts out their music? Where a simple halo drains the very little ounce of strength once left after a long day’s walk, all because you aren’t sure whether it will be received with the same warmth you gave it out with… Oh, hear me grumble over no cause yet my heart tells me it is alright to go on. I have always known the heart not to be trusted especially as he urges us on in perversions. He is a deviser of many evils and so for a moment let me pause and be grateful.

The evening birds can be heard singing joyfully over the trees as they celebrate the end of a day of abundance. As I look up to the skies, I am awed by the pairs of crows flying back to their nests for the night. They look like a beautiful worker couple up in the skies… if only man could be the same as these but noo, man has become as independent as this rooftop stork who prefers his own company. I think when one is diligent on their own they achieve much, only forgetting in the process that two are better than one and that when one walks alone they make long strides but then when in pairs, their labor is of much reward.

The chilly of the even sets in upon my feet, an attack that has so recently seemed more like a premeditated onslaught. I heard nature too speaks so don’t find it strange if I say that I think the whole of nature must have conspired and all elements called upon and set against my warmth.

The windows shut close as drapes are drawn back. The doors too, wooden or otherwise do the same honors with the rising dark all around. All complaints at bay I see a beautiful day come to a close, with the warmth of new neighbors and maybe with it may come a lot of mandazi and food, who knows? Mgeni aje, mwenyeji apone (When visitors come, the residents find relief) or so they said, right?

It is mid-June and with it prospects of beautiful things ahead. Have a blessed one wherever you are and as PePa would love, stay warm, and find beauty in all situations.

PePa: the sketches of life.

ENTER JUNE: the sketches we miss.

It is like they were all dead before prior to this season. Their noises always seemed like a total disturbance to the nerves. This evening, however, it all seems as if only their noises in the air help bring warmth to a most freezing draw of dusk.

Far above the disappearing intersection between the sky and earth a mist seems to form ahead of the greying clouds. The blue of the day’s sky gives way ever so earnestly to the heavy freeze-filled clouds. An amazing interchange as dusk fast approaches and planet earth sets into the dark side of space. No more light to bring its much-needed warmth and soon the wool spinner’s blankets and cotton yarns for duvets get work of their much-needed wares. The cold season is here and June sure puts up a welcome.

So for this evening, save for burning embers of heath or tight curls under sheets and blankets, nothing else seems to bring much-needed warmth to such an atmosphere save for these beautiful noises of children playing in the walkways and verandah yards. We are in the city and much-needed heath or fireplace embers is almost out of the question as these are but the luxuries we rarely take note of in the countryside.

City life they call it. If only we all knew the beauties and pleasantries we miss from our beloved countryside. These kids out here playing this dusking evening know not what they are missing being caught up in this city rat race. Thanks to corona for if not then they would all be indoors doing their homework( crafts of a designed neo-colonial and slavery system) and missing on the very core of child’s play which included much clamour and songs alongside loud noises. These plays prepared us and distinguished us for the very persons we were meant to grow up into but here we are, always playing it by the book and have hence been caught up in a system designed to achieve exactly that, modern-day slavery.

Well, before they shout all obscenities and strangle my interpretations of truth into words of incitement, allow me to breath in this June cold breeze as I stare out into the storeys huggling to scrape the skies in the name of modern-day apartment blocks. I am sure the breeze would have been more perfect cutting right through into my nostrils was it not blocked by all these trees of houses, right? But man must live I suppose, huh? and yet in his quest to live does he squeeze his own life out of himself by laying the foundations for the very barricades that build the stumbling blocks of his existence thus caging him in.

The curfew period having been extended, the cars along the road seem to have also increased their honking pitch. Their noises now resonates in bouts of echoes to rhyme with the frequent screeches. You would think that even noises were in lockdown there before. Guess this is the pollution that so clouds the mind dimming its mere strain for peace hence loss of peace of mind.

Taking in all these events that drive my day to a close, I am led to reflect on my purpose and poise of life. To take a moment in my rush through life and start appreciating the very little things I once so easily overlooked.

Watching Nat Geo the other day I am drawn to this wanderer who takes time to travel to different cultures and learn to live as they do. The most amazing bit is that he has to learn to do the things they do so as to fit and live through their days. In his travels, he is in Kenyan Samburu and has to live among the warriors as they herd their cattle and protect them. Strangely they are comfortable in their sphere and living out in little mud houses is no strange phenomenon, not until you introduce the concept of brick houses and warm clothing do they feel backward. But till this concept comes in, these people are actually quite comfortable and advanced in their survival techniques out in the harsh semi-arid locations which even the wanderer himself finds quite intriguing.

Looking up once again, dusk has taken over the day and all left to see are the flickering headlights in the distance. I have contemplated enough for the day and even the freeze eating through my toes is threatening to take over the entire body. My fingers don’t relent on their tap against my keyboard but they too are appreciating the cold that hits the knuckles with the onset of June.

Despite all these elements, I can finally clearly see that with every event that knocks along the corner of our journey is there a lesson to carry along this tread of life we take. Don’t therefore miss the very victuals that life brings along your walk as these are the sketches that may determine who you really are and should be.

Have an amazing June ahead.

PePa:the sketches of life.

BE STILL: Sketches through my day.

From my calm sleep into the dawn, though curtains remained draped yet still was it easy to hear the lulling drizzles softly trickle against the glass window panes. It all softly drizzled alongside the fading cricket chirps. Together, this melody took me through a wave in an out of sleep, and then all sleep almost suddenly disappeared as the day’s schedule filled my mind.

 

Along with this, however, came an almost inescapable surge of uncertainty and with it that ever-present feeling of incapability. Huh? Was I just letting such a sound night of sleep be so easily taken over by a day’s inconsistencies that as it was stood hours away? Nope, not today PePa. This was the very illusion I had worked all along to learn and keep at bay. This right here hence almost felt like an utmost test to my nerves and resilience.

 

At this particular moment as the slow-downs start taking over, I so easily miss the ebbing of the soft drizzles against my panes. This not being my norm, the pluviophile that I am so easily realises that something sure is amiss(My mind pays attention to every drop of rain, the strike of thunder and lighting as a consistent norm) and I must find my tracking from the unsolvable troubles of the coming hours. What I need at the moment is a rested mind and body and so this I seek in a most calculated yet proven truth.

 

Looking out through my drawn drapes I envision darkness racing to dawn as the strike of 5 am. seems far from being reached. Turning onto my belly from my side, I remind myself of how favored I am to be resting at this moment. I then ask myself how much I can achieve by my own strength and the answer is obvious. Moving on I reiterate how far I have made it to this moment and how righteous my Source and guide has been.

 

Knowing that nothing is achieved of my own strength, I get to realise that even if I lost sleep over the coming hours there was nothing I could really do about it at this very moment. The stage is thus set and a most imminent onset of worry gets so easily knocked out as the schedule of the day is pushed into the day and the sleep at hand softly drowned into. Another onset of soft drizzles comes in handy as if sent to lull me again. I slowly doze off till the first light strikes my curtains. Golden with a lusture of warmth to take away the freeze of the night.

 

Rising up off my bed the cold is not relenting and almost so easily ushers me into the bathroom for a hot drip of morning shower but no, that is not who I have become lately and though routine can be overrated, I do what I enjoy most…morning stretches after a glass of water and a fast-paced workout. The bicep curls sure burn up my body fat into a most desired heat and this jerks up my metabolism in readiness for the cold day ahead.

 

When all is said and done, my meditation and devotions being a sync of me play out to calm both my mind and body. The phonecalls that ensue set things to pace and within a short span of time all is handled and rolling.

 

Did I mention in the midst of all this came a most unexpected miracle? Not that all I had planned worked out as initiated but every detail got covered and taken care of… Not an easy fete if I was to do it all of my own wisdom and understanding but having faith in the Almighty goes a long way in Him establishing all plans you commit to Him. Interesting how He works all things together for our good. If only we can choose to totally love and trust in Him.

 

Heading out I am full not only of soul food but also solid food and this cold day seems to be all but cool. I breathe in the morning air that smells of dry then wet earth. Can you smell that with PePa? That right there is the beauty of how the Almighty plays out nature to our advantage. Everything all of a sudden seems to make us smile. We are neither excited nor sad but deep within we are conscious of all the goodness around us, in turn filling us with so much peace and joy.

 

Note that at this point nothing is perfect but everything is flowing just as it should. Amidst all the chaos lies an order that can’t be ignored. Let us call it a perfection within imperfection. I plug on my earphones to listen to the long-neglected prophesies of Ezekiel, interesting how even these prophesies calm my soul. They may sound ruthless but knowing nothing is said that has no meaning, I learn to take in every word as it flows.

 

It is a beautiful cool day and as my friend chats and says,” I had an awesome day, very slow though,” I almost want to remove the word slow from their statement but the positivity in the entire statement sends a wave of joy within my nerves, relaxing them all at once. This is what I have always needed, a positive vibe of gratitude for every pinch of life we live.

 

I hope you too had a calm day, Be still and know that He is God the Almighty.

 

PePa:The sketches of life.

 

 

 

Watch “Pepa Sketches” on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/user/eyeot

Watch as the sketches come to life in my new YouTube channel. Apart from keeping the sketches rolling in here at WordPress,I have tried to form them into spoken words,a journey I have found challenging and an utmost test in resilience filled with God’s grace….

Please take a moment and check out my new channel. Subscribe, listen, comment and share… Let us speak life through all things.

Welcome to PePa in motion.

https://www.youtube.com/user/eyeot

PePa:The sketches of life

dematerialization #poem #prose poem #short prose

It was a sort of dematerialization that left behind the scent of orange blossoms and the vague memory of sultry afternoons growing by the margins of the pond: those afternoons in need for seed germination. I am sure you can remember them. You and your love for me which have always looked for my blood. […]

dematerialization #poem #prose poem #short prose

Amazing poem by short prose.

HEAL YOURSELF: sketches of self-discovery.

I am seated here thinking, and the truth is I don’t honestly enjoy thinking all because it easily creeps in the worry I so don’t much desire. I am supposed to be a bubble of life and fountain of unending joy, or so does the world expect me to be. Away from their expectations however is who I truly am and this as it is, is that I work every day at who I am.

 

I make sure that I allow and absorb only the energy I desire and for me, every negative surge is repelled as soon as it peeps through. Just like worry tries to set in. I am all but forced to pick something else to work on and refocus my mind to. That way, it is easy to channel my energy and purpose towards prospects that build rather than crash me.

 

This my dear treader is the solution I have had most times for when worry decides that this home seems cool for it. I have to face it head-on and let them know that this home they think they got is quite uninhabitable and conditions herein are harsh and arid.

 

It may sound easy but truth be told, there is nothing easy about this because the more you work at it, the easier it is to get to the plateau of conformity. Just like I worked at meditation and without realising it I almost got used to it. I so easily found my mind distracted just as the journey towards a soft mellow meditation session set in and with this almost lost all my previous efforts at it.

 

So just as such, beating off worry at her onslaught may not be so much of an easy fete but just as James Clear will have it in his cryptic write through Atomic Habits, everything we would love to attain in life depends more on who we want to be as individuals and in essence the habits we build become who we are. So yes worry will always set in but you not wanting to be caught up in it will push you to be conscious all the time it sets in and lay standards to shove it off.

 

Of such moments of uncertainty, I have grown to learn through most painful experience that without caution does desperation so easily set in and with it the slump of depression. This, PePa is oh so sure that you too my dear treader ain’t no stranger to, right? And so to carelessly remind you of same helps shelve no such worries off your table, right? No, wrong as awareness as it is, is the very first and most important step towards freedom. If I am not misguided, they termed it as knowledge being the pathway to power, and what is true power if not freedom in totality? 

 

So yes, for me to find true freedom I must thus not allow these creeping vague realities to be the break and weak of me. This I hence can only achieve by allowing in true positivity despite all nether assurances of impending and unavoidable doom. By this I allow my mind to set course to all possibilities and in jest break off all avenues of a barrier…..

 

But, before setting course to all possibilities yet, why not take a moment and enjoy the fresh air that so effortlessly rushes into my nostrils and down my receptive lungs? Why not look to the cloudy skies that sure promise another strawberry penumbral eclipse? Oh, that already passed you Yester-evening, huh? Worry not, you still have the beauty of the full pure moon at hand devoid the eclipse and I heard, as they deem, that these full moons create not only a mark of beauty up in the starry skies but also sets the heart towards the hope of unbreaking light ahead.

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Strawberry lunar penumbral eclipse courtesy of shatterstock images.

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Midsky full moon 5th June 8.45pm

Well, in the meantime, allow me to make this long-overdue phone call and check on the honeymooning Dave, there are no honeymoons during this pandemic period so he should be able to pick up my call and confirm if he is okay. You on the other hand my dear treader can make a call to your friend, mum, sibling, or check on a neighbor and see if they are okay. 

 

What is life if we can’t share it? They call it love so heal yourself through being an asset to others. 

 

PePa.

Uninterrupted Grace.

The beat rises softly over my right, almost fills up the entire balcony and clothesline. The noises from the outside open market rivals it as every other one tries to vend their wares. The sun beats hard upon the rooftops but far be it from me to complain about this. Imagine if I was in […]

Uninterrupted Grace.

Hey guys, check out this piece done by Lilo and I (I was a bystander, hahaha) about uninterrupted grace… See the beauty of the Almighty in our lives.

TRUE OR FALSE: sketches through the mind.

It is around 4.30pm in the evening, the sun is of course in the Westerly, you close your eyes and look up into the skies, what do you see? Now imagine it is 9.00pm in the night, the moon is on the Easterly horizon, closing your eyes and looking into the skies, what do you see now?

 

Well, I bet in the first gaze you saw an image of the sun in the skies and in the second you saw an image of the moon right? Now let us play this game again. Now it is pitch dark outside and you close your eyes and look up into the skies, what do you see? I guessed right, you saw pitch darkness.

 

Not an interesting game I guess, huh? Now if I told you that in all instances there was nothing you saw rather than the image I implanted into your mind would you believe me? I know, right? Well, this is the deal, in all three instances I told you to close your eyes and I told you to look.

 

This means that in all three instances you couldn’t see but following the directive of my words to your mind you formed an image in your mind and hence saw what my words to your mind told you to see. In the first instance was the sun in the Westerly, in the second was the shining moon in the Easterly skies, and in the third instance was the pitch darkness.

 

Such is the beauty of the mind in that it will do only what we command it to do and in essence overlook every other prevailing barrier presented to it. Any barriers thus so present are a creation of our minds and not the actual reality on the ground, no.

 

You may not find this true but let us look at another scenario. We say that the sun rises from the East and sets in the West, in an actual sense however, does the sun really rise on the East and set in the West? Am I making you think too much? Forgive me for this but this is typically common knowledge that we rarely take time to think about you know?

 

Truth is, the sun neither rises nor does it set, instead, it just spins around on its axis being virtually immovable and even if movable, it is to a small degree and with it does its entire planetary system. Just so as not to lose you. The earth instead rotates from the East to the West on its axis yet our minds tell us that the sun is rising from the East and setting in the West. Should have been called Earthrise and Earthset instead, right? But would the simple mind register that with much ease? I highly doubt it. But with training however, it would I believe.

 

The mind is a strong component of our existence thus and will work through all we allow it to and block out all we stop it from taking in. Not as simple as it sounds though but tell me how easily it is you believed the Sun rises from the East and sets on the West? That is how fast you can train your mind to work for you and not against you as is a common occurrence.

 

With the same conditioning in place, now think about all the things you deemed impossible and unachievable in life. Are they really as impossible as we may make it look? You must thus realise who is in control. Does your mind control you or do you control it? If it controls you then we are in for a rough patch but if you control it then I guess nothing stands impossible, right?

 

I used to say that I couldn’t read with music on but looking back now I realise I had placed limitations to my own mind and it bowed to my preconditioning. As I am writing this, there is a lot of music in the background but with a well-trained and filtered mindset, I am able to remain focused on my trail with the sketches. Such a beautiful previously unimaginable fete.

 

See, for example, we say that the seas and oceans are blue in colour but is it really true? Isn’t it a perception of the mind? When you get closer to seawater, does it still remain blue or does your proximity to it change its colour? Forgive me for I too am just caught up In this tread as you are.

 

Without treading deeper into unchartered waters, allow me to cut short Pepa’s tracks and allow you to let your mind be your slave rather than your master.

 

The sky on my end is growing darker as my mind takes in the darkness and a flicker of a candle could help illuminate my mind to allow my eyes to see more clearly.

 

PePa.