Monthly Archives: September 2019

LOSS OF SELF:Sketches of normalcy

Have I erred in my ways

Looking aside rather than sway

Into direction required and toss my hay

Have I gotten more comfortable with each day

That passes by as though it were normal

To lose all focus and purpose of moral

For what are morals if discipline in self were crushed like coral

Under heavy hammer to seek out the pearl

And instead of pearl out came crushed dreams?

A mixture of sorrow in tint of pain

A broken pearl is all in vain

As time is lost in process of breakage.

Let not things be normal and time as usual

Redo the things you loved that made you unusual

Gave you inner strength and an energy arousal.

Slack not in action and get not used to redundancy.

PePa.

BREW MY ICE:sketches of perception into the sunset.

Call it just another day in paradise,yes this sure must be what they call paradise after am done finish going through Coelho Paulo’s The Alchemist read.That was quite a good 88 pages of pure bliss.You need to go through it even if you ain’t no ardent book reader as my friend and confidant Peaches would admit seconded by Louis.

Speaking of Louis,reminds me of where we left at in our last Sketches of perception growing through BREW MY ICE2 .

So out Nairobi hospital room 8 we head after bidding our byes for the evening and wishing Kez a most amazing recovery.We came in two cars and this proves quite unfavourable at this point,not forgetting how far we had parked at doctor’s quarters.Thank God the exit was towards the same direction.Oh,I had already forgotten about the long endless and confusing corridors.I almost called them treacherous,if only they was straight from a horror movie,I would have opted out of the skit.

At the exit is another stop and for a moment I wonder why parking fee at a hospital yard has to be paid for?This is Nairobi am reminded by a silent voice,the city of man eat man or is it man make money?If only money meant everything…..

A quick drive down the busy Kenyatta avenue off community gets me right into the thick of Nairobi’s traffic jammed CBD.Woe unto me who ever often rarely heeds to Dave my bro-friend’s advice.He had asked we use the outer Uhuru Highway for a faster drive to Agakhan Hospital but I know these city streets better I thought.I mean,I enter into them day in day out and who could be the wiser one of us?

This is the part you groan and curse the air and traffic lights as your destination is more trivial than the slug.Did you ever notice for an instance that at the time when you set your pace in mind everything suddenly seems to be working together above you to slug your progress even more?

Lately however,instead of shouting obscenities and cursing into the air with my fists I have learnt to read and understand the aura.To know that everything works together for good for me as long as I love God.That His will in everything reigns supreme and that even this slug as it is at the moment is just a sign to calm my heart and tell it to slow down.It reminds me that life has no rush as the world perceives it and that we can never keep up with the flow of time,only do the best it allows us at the moment.

This Kawangware bus intersects right into my lane and God knows why I smile at him and let him go through with the same.Realising his fault he apologizes and bids me to go on.I hence realise that the smile communicated peace rather than confrontation.I instead allow him to proceed as I look to the heavens and realise that there is a language in the world just as Paulo Coehlo puts it in The Alchemist that is not found in words.The language of love.

Suddenly the air feels fresher and the constant hoots and honks of buses and cars alike seem lost in the distant traffic lights.The lights turn green but even this doesn’t ease the traffic.Beauty though is that my heart has discovered a much deeper peace,the peace that not everything is always as it looks on the surface and that everything is all about what we make of it.It all lies in our perception and with that in mind we are able to achieve so much positivity in the world.

I can’t see Dave’s car behind me and perceive he has taken the pre-planned route.I whince in retrospect since am no much of a planner,always working with the moment at hand.Brings me to the bare truth that diversity sure calls for appreciation and respect.

Am drawn back to my silent cabin and realise that my car radio has been silent for most part of the day;not that am much of a radio or tv enthusiast as most of you would know by now but for some reason the silence and peace within makes me see and feel much more.I am not for a moment moved to turn it on as I sink into the awareness of my surrounding.

Check for example my Kawangware bus driver companion at the moment;what makes him to be so much in a rush even in a jam that he has no way of maneuvering through?He is busy wishing he could use the oncoming road to his advantage,well,maybe the more trips he makes the more money he can save up for his family.What about his joy?does he still have it or has it all been lost in this rat race to make more?And like the bus driver,have we also gotten caught up i the same rat race?

Across the street pavement it is hard to miss men and women rushing by so fast non can linger to say halo to another:bags cluched tightly to their sides to prevent thieving hands,the modern day slavery I call it;the pursuit of self destruction if you ask me…But as always I will quickly withdraw into self as mine is just to observe the sketches and you my dear PePa-treader must find yourself in them as you piece them all together into form….

The honking stops from a distant as the traffic lights again glow in green and this time round not in futility as the traffic flows.The sun above the sky scrapers lets go of its glow as dusk takes yet another reign for the even.Another slug holds me as I draw close to the globe round about.It is however an even flow that soon drags me out of the city center and onto Limuru road.Calling Dave,am surprised he is already at Aghakan Hospital hign dependency unit and calmly seated.

Am again drawn to this beautiful road that drew me from where I first resided when I came into this city.It was never about the highrise luxurious blocks it hosted but rather the calm enroute to my place.It was the extreme draw of nature within the city and a calm you could never put a price on.I made the move and never looked back.And here I am again today on the same route,not headed to my place to rest for the evening but coming from one hospital without the city and headed into another hospital on the other end of the same.And you may think am having a bad day,huh?

Catch more of these sketches on the next skit of BREW MY ICE.

PePa.

BREW MY ICE:the sketches of perception grow.

Am almost smiling in contemplation as fingers begin the sketch and tap through pad,together these little motions bring a flawless flow of remission.I am but almost elated as the memories trickle down into my heart and tap right into my fingers.

In junctures as such, tears tease the edges of my eyes as this feeling most often than not leaves me overwhelmed.Overwhelmed huh?From what you may ask and as always you are allowed to question even my trail of thought dear PePa treader,or should I call you reader?Reader is Oh so obvious and leaves out the actual part where you always tread the path of sketches with me.Faithful companion you have become and so valued a treader you are.

A moment in space I must take as a deep,long and reassuring breath calms my nerves back to the reality of day.The reality of grace and love all compounded into a tandem of beauty.

Before I get caught up in my sketches and forget we are going through this together,allow me to bring you up to pace of where am coming from by sending you back to a prior post that sure links to this.Remember BREW MY ICE:The sketches of perception?Maybe yes but if not,please find the link BREW MY ICE and let us flow as one .

So here we get to continue on my almost perfect evening but that can only be perfected by a recap of grace in action.

Beautiful Wednesday morning and work is great,I wont say as usual cuz truth be told,we don’t deserve a thing we have but God through His unending love has made us custodians of the same.Thank Him since my plans for this day were aligned to His good,perfect and pleasant will…A sure glorious 27th date of August as I often put it.

Dave my all time buddy gives me a call while am busy at the bank teller’s.I pick up gayly and he asks if we still on for the even.”Why not daddy,”I quip and he replays the itinerary as I remain cool.My work for the day as at this time seems all but done.All heaven aligned this day perfectly in my favour as even the bank queue isn’t one to cry foul about.

We was to go visit a buddy at the hospital who had just had an operation.They called it a minor surgery,these doctors:what is minor about your belly being opened up,things inserted and then thread and crooked needle takes place of flesh?A complication with their lower abdomen led to a successful cyst removal thankfully.Sounds all simple huh?

It is 5pm and we are slugging through the renovation clamped Nairobi hospital trying to find a parking spot.We have like an hour to visit the invalid and all seconds left seem to be running out.Finally we get to a doctor’s parking and don’t look me evil in the eye cuz I parked right next and not on their spot.Am sure I would have taken it if another spot hadn’t showed up though,just my questioning nature that is,so allow me to enjoy me.

I can’t help but notice all the expensive cars carpeting the parking lots,I mean all these brands are executive and luxurious if my taste and eyes serve me right.We sweep through with Dave as he teasingly tells me I should have been a doctor or married one.

Quite a discussion for another day if you ask me,I mean I tried to date and hopefully marry one but flopped miserably.I guess I couldn’t keep up with all the scalpel,catheter,tumor and all those medical jargons.Maybe I was just a pathetic lover,who knows?Maybe we will never find out the truth after all,hahahahah…..Thank God I learned to be a Haw in the ,”Who moved my cheese” tale.Sorry if you don’t get the joke but you have to read that 33-paged story of who moved my cheese,it could change your entire life you know?Or maybe it came to me just at the right time in my life;coincidence?If you ask me I will say God has all my life planned and I just love how He plays out the dice.

A strong hospital scent hits my nose and almost throws me off balance.I have never known if it is the scent of patient gowns,the detergent they use,the whole aura of hospitals or the scent of medicine that normally puts me off.To think that I even wanted to practice medicine is laughable at this point.

Quite interesting however how immune or better still unmoved by wounds and cuts I was back in lower school to the point of being a St John’s captain.I think time has a way of realigning us to our fates and ultimate purpose in life,right?Just smile if you agree.

Hoping we are still on the same footage,we pass through a series of hospital corridors,getting lost into dead ends as the renovations have done quite a twist to the whole arrangement you know.Eventually we get to our patient’s ward and they lie so blissfully on the raised bed you would think they was never operated on.With their folks around,manners must be on the tips of our tongues and fingers you know….

My day wouldn’t be any better than to see a friend lying safe and sound on a hospital bed after a successful surgery.To add to the joy is the glam of close friends surrounding her bed.Oh and doesn’t this hospital look and feel modern…you would almost want to get that care daily.The kind of care that makes you not want to heal so you are treated like a baby all the time;that feeling of getting everything you want on a single call….Not till your friends eat all the muffins you was brought on your sick bed,hahaha…..

Dave picks up a call and the communication seems hushed and intense.I can almost read into his facial expressions as he signals us to shush so he can hear more keenly.Quickly finishing up and making sure our friend Kez is doing well,he signals that we have to go.I ask him what’s up and he says we have to be at the Aghakan hospital along Limuru Road as soon as immediately……..

Catch the next sketch to know what happened next……

PePa.

MINUTES: The sketches of time.

Three minutes past midnight

All this is such a delight

See the sketches fall into light

As each tumbles upon like as though in a fight

Only they glide and sync into like with all ease

Ease easefully into one another to bind in wrap

Wrap the pencil sketches into pepa sketches

Sketches of pencil hence fluid into pepa sketches

Pepa sketches juice with flavour hence into life sketches

Yes it is now 7minutes past my mid of night

A sight to behold as sleep says nay to sketches of perspective

A perspective that holds still the desires of the heart

The heart I must admit mostly sways to the swing of desire

A desire to lose self into wake of the moment

A moment only pinned and aligned in the fluidity of truth

Same truth only captured in moment of time

A time so vivicious and vicariously viewed in a void unveiled through various vibrant and almost ferocious but vividly sketched moments in a vicious sketch of vivid volatility.

11 minutes past my night in the midst of a midnight hour.

A moment sweet in feel and cool in taste to my waving senses of touch and lustre….oh that my lust may not last to the last of this 13th minute in past of mid just after night sets mood for my soul.

A tik in tok sure gets my pace into the 15th in a wrap of minutes to the tune of 12.

Yes twelve in completion of a midnight.12 completes my race in sketches of time and cups my perfection in thought.

15minutes past midnight and Pepa must rest to face another day of grace in a beauty of dawn which pains off the doubts of Yester-sorrows with a promise of morning dew.

PePa.

WRATH OF THE TITANS:sketches of gods and demigods.

In ancient times the world was ruled by gods and monsters

But it was the half god Perseus,my son,who defeated the Crackon and saved humanity

For his courage,I offered him a place to rule,at my side

But Perseus was strong-willed and chose to live a different path.He vowed to live as a man.

Even when fate took his wife,he would not pray for help from me or the other gods,and now the time of the gods is ending,and the son of Zeus can not hide from his destiny forever

PePa.

DON’T LOOK BACK:sketches of yesterday.

See the clock ticks off…I hear the silent motions

Almost unnoticed,in the wind of my hair’s ends

That soft whisk,and wave through my spine

Draws me back to those moments

 

Moments I could almost lose

If for a split second without impulse I let that wave flow off

Yes it glides under my nape

And crawls back to my chin

Almost in tandem with my existence

As wave joins with my heart

 

Nostalgia grows immense

And I almost fall back into the trap

Trap of this facade so beautifully illusioned

By their constant pull and tag onto my being

 

Before I get lost from self

I must fight to stay afloat

And win this race only meant for me

For as long as I got breath i trust God has given me strength to win this race

A race often faltered by weakness and regrets

Almost looking back and losing sight

 

Then I am reminded that sight saves no day

But faith I have to win it all

So I draw from obvious and into the realm of truth

Where fear holds no water but faith controls it all.

 

So the wave fades off and God’s comfort becomes my refuge

All fear is waded as hope gains root.

 

PePa.

CLASH OF THE TITANS: sketches of myths.

The oldest stories ever told are written in the stars,stories of time before man and gods,when titans ruled the earth.

The titans were powerful but their reign was ended by their own sons,Zeus,Bissaiden and Heidis

Zeus convinced his brother heidis to create beasts so strong that could defeat there parents.And from his own flesh,Heidis gave birth to an unspeakable horror,the Cracken.

Zeus became king of the heavens,Bissaiden,king of the seas and Heidis,tricked by Zeus,was left to rule the underworld in darkness and in misery.

It was Zeus who created man,and man’s prayers fed the gods’ immortality.But mankind grew restless and began to question the gods and finally rise up against them.Into this world a child was born.A boy who would change everything….

 

PePa.

THE DRAPES OF LIES:Sketches from a toilet seat (POEM)

It busked in promise

That allure and burst of warmth

Warmth wrapped in laces of lustre

You could almost feel its glide through the palms

Those never ending evenings of romance

Preceded by endless chats of love and yearning

 

And then familiarity krept in

Heralded by that most familiar ambience of disdain

Borne in a scent so pungent

You wondered what happened to the promise

O so familiar in careless words of always

 

The same always that meant so much

Now is nothing but another lie

A lie I would have wanted to last

Not till the warmth became my prison

Four walls would do for so was your empty words of love

Ribboned in frails of tenderness and a breath of sensuality

 

Same breath that now chokes even the very air around my wake

Let alone the life out of me.

 

So no,no to this prison of lies and words without meaning

No to this allure that life has no point without you

No to fairytale stories of forever and never after

For in your lies I found my truth and in my truth you missed your lies

A mix of true words bound with no lies to lace

 

I found me rocked up than I thought was even possible

Spiced with a drape of fire and fired with a spice of strength

So here now I know me,untethered by lies with no ends

No Longer laced in an embrace of deceit or lost in a brace of fear.

 

May you find you just as PePa did.

 

PePa.