It’s calm,almost pin-drop quiet.And then a sudden buzz and rush of cars,they buzz through my ears with an irritation of noise.I come to and the restaurant all around me is alive,something I hadn’t noticed.
This is not what I need,these two guys yapping about no constructive thing in this there loud conversation,a disturbance that helps nothing in my state.But this is a restaurant right,at times no peace can come from this,especially not on a Sunday.Maybe I should have tried a Monday,Tuesday maybe?How about Wednesday or Thursday?Well,a Friday could have been worse I bet.
Still it is a restaurant,no actual place of peace or solace.My house would have been a better haven I guess?The cold however that breeds in it over time grows in leaps and bounds with each passing day.Maybe I should have gotten a smaller apartment the moment she moved out,right?I guess a two-bedroomed place made no sense right now for a single,lonely person huh?
I mean,we may not have been the best of a couple but right now you realise that even that cold presence really counted,just because the name presence helps complete the statement.Something I have grown to appreciate,presence.
But that was ages back,right?So why this emptiness that so crowds the heart.An emptiness that no amount of company can help kill?So have I tried to run away from my own-self?I must admit at times I really work so damn hard at it,do I succeed though?No,I terribly fail if I may be honest.
In contemplation,I thus realise that the truth lies not in the past but rather in the very present.In Today,in this very present that came not by coincidence but as a gift,the gift that now threatens to shutter into little ugly cracked glass pieces,how I hate cracked glass let alone pieces,maaaan!
Art pesto has always been a favourite joint of mine.Today though I must admit that this joint threatens to break this love relationship we’ve so dearly had for a long time.The little girls heckling in untold excitement don’t do much to help this feeling.
I actually wonder how their parents let them out of the house so early on a Sunday afternoon.Did they even finish washing the dishes,or their week’s clothes for that matter?How about scrubbing the house sparkling clean?
Hahah,how can you even question these millenials?Do they even know how that is done in this era of househelps and children’s rights?
Am lucky they kind of felt my energy which is not at all appealing,not Today.They thus leave to my pleasure and peace to my ears.I sip on my drink once more as the pastry scent combines with the confectionary to hit my nostrils with distaste.If I was a woman at this point I would actually consider carrying out a pregnancy test as the emotions raging within me are up and out the ceiling.
If I had asked for advice right now am sure I would have gotten a thousand if not a milli answers and suggestions,a thread of comments and memes to quip.Some I would relate to and others would even hurt,some of course pretty hilarious,a side rhetorical and others almost accurate but truth be told,non would really help.
Haha,this actually makes me laugh as I realise that as humans,we look for answers everywhere when it is right here with us all this time.Listening to other’s opinions usually drains the pain and consternation away you know?
A trivial thought cascades my mind at this point as PePa is all but keen to follow through with no evidence of a flint of light at the tunnel’s exit.
In a world and society where a man is supposed to remain macho and strong through the peril,what does he do when push comes to shove?Man up huh?Be strong and not break down?Not share his ultimate most innate fears?
What about a woman,a lady,a little girl or boy?
Easy PePa,it is just a cascade of thoughts that sometimes eat me up,nothing to stress about.But what if this person needed actual help,would we watch them go down the drain and say that for a man,an african man for that matter he has to and must be strong enough not to express his fears and emotions?
What about a woman,a lady,a little boy or that girl who just saw there first cycle down in the village?
What if PePa,just what if?Would someone listen?